By now, everyone we intended to share our letter with has had the opportunity to read it and save it. We are making that post private, but please know that the most important thing that we can do is to reiterate that each and every one of our kids is loved, valued, and has a life worth living.

What I have been learning over the last few days is that there is hope. There is hope in our kids and many of them take the time to listen and to care about others.

Below are the words of one brilliant and thoughtful young man who was kind enough to allow his words to be shared. This message can apply to any family, school, or community that has lost some exceptional person whose life was dear to them and then struggled through the messy quagmire to try to make sense of the senseless.

“Far too much pain has come from [our friend’s] mere absence. We can’t afford to shed many more tears over the mess that’s been left behind and we definitely can’t let ourselves hurt others just because we are in so much pain. This is not the time to spread pain or create division between those close to him. Rather, it is the time for all to share love, honoring his legacy, united by our mutual friendship with someone twice the man any of us could ever hope to be. We’ve got to hold on tight to the memory of our friend and a love for each other if we ever hope to make it through these difficult times and have a chance at finding true closure.”

With that quote, the intent here will be to move forward in love and compassion, yet also with the utmost steadfastness and determination that we must take great care with our kids who’ve walked through the pain of loss.